still figuring things out
I’m still somewhere in the middle of writing my life plan. Or maybe rewriting it. Things have shifted, as they often do. But lately, I’ve been leaning more toward something that feels simple and true: tea, Japanese culture, the things that bring me a quiet kind of joy.
There’s one thing I do know for sure—an idea I had two years ago is finally starting to take shape now.
Back then, it was just a passing thought, a quiet dream I scribbled down in a notebook and tucked away. I didn’t know when—or even if—I’d have the space or the courage to return to it. Life was busy in other ways. I convinced myself I had more “practical” things to focus on. The idea stayed with me, though, in the background like a soft hum. Not loud, not demanding. Just... persistent.
And now, somehow, I find myself returning to it. Not because everything is perfect, or clear, or certain—but because something in me has shifted. Because the thought of not trying started to feel heavier than the fear of failing.
So here I am, slowly, gently, breathing life into something that once felt too far away to touch. It’s not flashy. It’s not loud. But it’s real—and I’m making it real, day by day.
And in the middle of all this shifting and slow becoming… I got a new laptop.
Until now, I never really had a personal one. I always used whatever was around—something shared, something provided, something just good enough to get by. But recently, life nudged me into making a decision for myself. Suddenly, I had to pick something, and pick it fast. The older MacBook models I liked (yes, I still miss the touch bar 😢) were no longer available in stores. So I chose the newest MacBook Air.
It’s light, fast, and beautiful—and even though it wasn’t the one I would’ve chosen under different circumstances, it somehow feels just right for this version of me. The one who’s trying again. The one who’s choosing her own tools. The one who’s ready to build something that belongs to her.
Somewhere in an old folder, I even found a little logo animation I made for the concept. Back then, I called it Cafe Biyori. It was nothing polished, just something I made to hold the feeling. I’ll leave it here as a small reminder of how long this dream has been quietly waiting.
Cafe Biyori, 2023-ish ✨ A shitty animation made in AE
So here I am: still figuring things out, still uncertain about the final shape of it all. But with clearer, tea-steeped dreams—and finally, a laptop that feels like it’s really mine.