i want to give up
I’m fed up. I want to give up.
The UX job market isn’t great right now. It’s frustratingly slow, and it feels like UX design is becoming less important to companies. Maybe it was always like this, and I just didn’t see it. Either way, finding a job has been incredibly hard.
But I can’t give up. My visa is tied to my job.
It’s all about money. In my last position, my company was bought by a bigger corporation. They looked at the numbers, decided UX wasn’t a priority, and laid off the entire team. Just like that, years of work erased. That’s when it really hit me—most companies don’t care about UX. Not really. It’s something they invest in when times are good and cut the moment things tighten.
Recently, I finally got an interview at a company I’ve wanted to work for. The job was the right fit for me—my experience aligned perfectly. But in the second round, I had to interview with the UX Lead. I should have been excited, but the moment the call started, I knew it wouldn’t go well. She barely smiled, seemed cold, and I had the feeling she didn’t like me. I tried to stay composed, but I was nervous the whole time.
The next day, the rejection email came. I wasn’t surprised. I already knew.
But maybe it was for the best. I had the feeling I wouldn’t have been able to work well with her anyway. The vibes were off. And maybe that’s the real problem—getting a UX job isn’t just about skills or experience. It’s about passing these invisible social tests, fitting into some unspoken culture, and convincing people who might have already made up their minds about you.
Sometimes, I wonder if things would be easier if I spoke German fluently. I should have studied more, but looking back, I wouldn’t have had the time. I came to Europe by my own efforts, with my own money. I had to survive on my own. I lived with little, worked extra just to get by. Most people don’t understand that when they ask me why I don’t speak German despite living here for so long. They assume I had the luxury to focus on language when I was just trying to make it through.
Still, it stings. It makes me question everything. Did I make the wrong choice? Was all of this a mistake?
I don’t know. But I do know that I’m slowly moving in the direction of having my own business. It’s not easy, and it’s not happening overnight, but it’s something. Maybe one day, I won’t have to deal with these gatekeepers anymore.
For now, I try to keep going.